Her funeral was yesterday in Parma Ohio (Cleveland)
I did not go but sent my flowers and spoke to my cousins.
My parents did go and thankfully another cousin (Steve) drove my parents to Cleveland because heaven knows my parents should not be driving that far. Hell, my father should not be allowed to drive out of the drive way but he still has his license and we can't seem to take it away from him. But that's another story.
Here is a photo taken yesterday of my Dad (86/on left) who is sitting next to his older brother Tony (95). Tony's wife is the woman who died. You can see a bit of resemblance beyond being 2 old guys. Uncle Tony has Parkinsons and has a difficult time talking and walking now. But otherwise believe it or not, he is sharp. This 2nd photo is of them in what I believe to be 1970-1971.
Can you find them in that 2nd photo? (only 8 of the 9 siblings)
(The 2 Aunts hair in back is so Marge Simpson like it cracks me up)
You see I look at this differently than most. I don't wish to live to be 100 if my health is as awful as some or if my mind is gone. That is not living to me.
On my mom's side of the family they die very young. Heart disease and cancer are the two diseases that have hit them all. All of my mom's family is gone. Her youngest sister literally dropped dead at 57 from a heart attack while in the hospital visiting a dying sister of cancer.
My father has a sister who is still alive and kicking at age 92 - she still worries about her hair. That makes me smile. And of course Uncle Tony at 95 in this photo.
This side of the family has had Alzheimer's and Parkinson's as the prevalent diseases.
Me? I personally fear ALS and Alzheimer's most of all. Those 2 scare me beyond belief and I tell Rick all the time that I don't want to live with those two. ALS most of all.
How dreadful to be yourself but your body is frozen. I can't fathom much worse.
Rick doesn't know his history because he is adopted.
I sometimes think that is a good thing in a lot of ways.
When I lived past 44 I had a big sigh of relief. My mom only lived to 44 so for some crazy reason I kept thinking I would die early too. That was a mile marker for me.
It has also made me diligent with mammograms and female check ups due to her dying of this. Logically I know science has come a long way since she died in the 60's but for some reason passing 44 was a big deal to me. Crazy the shit we carry isn't it?
While my father still has a love of life and my goodness can he laugh. But he is losing it.
He actually was driving to the garage to drop off his car and my mom was following him to drive him home. He pulled over because the road had changed and he was confused. She pulled up beside him and just said, "Follow me" She doesn't comment on the fact that he was confused and lost because he gets angry and frustrated which only makes it all worse. He followed her and nothing was said of it. See why he shouldn't drive? One of many reasons.
Changes really affect him now. Yes, the road was closed for a long time and then reopened and it did look entirely different and the buildings around it were gone so I understand it all. But to someone like my father it must have been such a fearful thing.
As I have mentioned in the past when I call now I say, "Hi Daddy it's Peg" so he knows it's me. He has said at times, "Hi Peg, it's your father" and then he laughs his big bellow of a laugh. Sometimes when I call and don't say my name and ask to speak to Mom he will say, "which one is this?" That makes me laugh, "which one"
When he asks that I always say number 1 and then he laughs and I hear him tell mom that Peg is on the phone. Recently I said when asked, "Your favorite" and to bust my balls he will say all my sisters names but not mine. So he still has his humor and he is still busting my chops but he isn't the same man in most ways that he was. I like to just remember the funny guy so full of life with the loud laugh that was contagious.
So while my cousin posted this and said that we all have longevity in our genes. I hope I do but only with all my faculties. When I said that to Rick he said, "you don't have them all now"
Funny mister, remember you are older than me and I may have to be your caregiver, be nice to me.