Friday, April 17, 2015

Friday Funny


I'm heading north for the weekend. Ooh, this ought to be a doozy.  I'm sure it will be blog fodder.
See you Monday. 

Wednesday, April 15, 2015

Taxes

Whew, tax season is over.

Honestly, this makes Rick a real bear. I am not a fan of living with this bear that takes over my husband's body for weeks. Especially when he is constantly saying, Margaret I didn't see XYZ in the folder, please get this for me.   Oh yea, I love how he bellows these things at me. 
Or my absolute favorite is an email sent to me giving me a list of things he needs. 
Apparently the file cabinet and/or the computer is just too hot to touch for him and only I can fetch these things and not burn my hands. Another good one are the emails I receive from him for months. I get all the documentation in order before this all begins. 
I have color coded folders for him. I am sure an accountant would be thrilled to have all these things so damn organized. Oh, but The Bear is not pleased or can't find them.
So what happens? I get more emails saying he needs this or that.
I then walk into the dining room - or ground zero, and show him that he has them already.
The last email I got I immediately went into ground zero, picked up the correct folder, pulled out what he was looking for and walked away saying nothing. 
He is an utter spaz and insists he didn't see it or I just hide it. Yep, that's what I did. I hid it so I had to have this conversation.  I mutter to myself, "I like him, I really do like him, remember that Margaret, don't hurt him"

I keep telling him to send this all to a "guy", let the guy's wife have all this grumpiness.
But nooo, every year he does all 3 divisions and is Mr. Cranky Pants.  My dining room table looks like papers and folders have vomited everywhere for months.

I am thankful beyond belief that it is over. I also do really appreciate that he does this for us but seriously now that business is back to normal, pay someone to do this Rick!!

I booked a massage for my husband this afternoon to bring his shoulders back down to below his ears where they belong. I didn't tell him you see, just booked one for a surprise for all the stress he has been dealing with in that dining room with his laptop.

This morning as I handed him his paper work for the day, he looked over all he was doing. Before he got to the last one, he said, "I love having such a light day." 
Then he turned to the last work order of the day and he saw that it was an hour massage. 
He was like a kid on Christmas morning. He was so cute.  
He looked at the work order, up at me, and then said, "For real? Today? I really have only estimates and a massage? Ah,You really take good care of me."  
Yup, that's what we do. 
I told him I gave all jobs to Gary and made his day easy on purpose after the weeks of taxes and long work days.  He does deserve this.  

Yesterday afternoon after Rick sent in the taxes online I asked, "When do they take the money out of our account?" (we owed money again) 
Rick said, " I don't remember if it's after they go over our return or how it works, to be honest, I'm sure sooner than later though. It is the IRS you know." 

This morning when I came into the office I looked at our account online. 
I like to see if the credit card charges from the day before were correctly deposited. (in the past there have been big issues) Sure enough, the IRS took out our money last night. WOW. That was fast wasn't it?  I bet if I was getting a refund it wouldn't have been that lightening fast now would it?

Taxes over! Let summer begin. 

Sunday, April 12, 2015

Genealogy

Anyone do any genealogy?
Got any tips for this novice who is going bonkers?

I have been attempting to do our family tree.
Sadly most are gone and those alive don't seem to remember or know much more than I do.

In doing the Ellis Island thing online through ancestry.com I found so many discrepancies.
For example, the spelling was wrong so I assumed it was the family I wanted with just some misspellings, so I went that direction. Nope, it wasn't my family. Then in the census I assume it's the wrong family due to the spelling error but then I see the ages of the children and the name is close so is that the family? Maybe. 
It is all so damn confusing. 

I just wish I could have the powers that be on the television show, "Who Do You Think You Are?" do this for me. But since I am not a celebrity I don't get the free help, information or the free trips.
I am so frustrated at this point in time that I am calling it quits on all of it.. 

I imagine back in the day with all these immigrants & the poor English I should be thankful I have found what I have found. But it has sent me in circles, so unless I win the lottery and can pay a boat load of money, I won't be doing my family tree.

If anyone has done this with success I would love any tips you can provide. Otherwise, I think I have to be done.

Friday, April 10, 2015

Oops, I did it again.

It happened again.Just like it did here.

Last night I was at the kitchen island dicing, slicing, and preparing dinner.

Rick was also at the kitchen island working on his tablet.
The local news was on in the background.
A commercial for INOVA hospital was playing.
I heard them say, for your neck, spine and back hair.

I laughed. Rick said, "What are you laughing about?"

I replied, "Didn't you hear what they just said?"
Rick: "Apparently not."
Me:  "I'll rewind it for you so you can hear this. I don't know what the hell they do with back hair at the hospital, but that struck me funny. Maybe it's laser hair removal or something."

Of course, Rick is laughing without even hearing the commercial by what I just said.

I rewind for us to listen. I again hear, "Inova Neck, Spine and Back Hair"
Rick looks at me and says, "Why the hell is that so funny?"
"Well, because what are they doing with back hair?"

Oh my, goodness he is now laughing so hard he could barely speak.

He said, "Is it that you're really a blond or you are really that hard of hearing that you hear that twice?"
"Well, I think it may be the latter the way you're laughing at me. What did they really say then?"

He slowly mouths while doing American Sign Language, Neck, Spine and Back Care.


Yep, that makes more sense.



Thursday, April 9, 2015

My Weekly Random Items.

Tuesday after work I went to have a relaxing pedicure.
My dog sat at the front door with her deflated football in her mouth until I returned.
I pulled up in front of my house and as I walked to the door I saw her. Her tail wagging and she was grunting and groaning as she does when she misses us. I was just with her for 23 of the last 24 hrs so this makes me laugh. But I love every minute of it. She wiggles her butt and her tail rapidly and she is lovin' on me and I can't even get in the house. Don't you wish everyone greeted you like that every day?


My chubba wubba waiting on me.

I have a big issue with the lack of phone and social skills in the world today. My father blames this all on technology. That could be a part of it, mostly I think it was how you were raised. 
Grown ass men call and can't articulate a thought. I wonder what the hell they do for a living that they can't do this? How do you have a job where you can't speak with people and make a point? It's much worse with men than women but they aren't off the hook either. 
So let's recap what a person should know to do when calling a business.
1. Say hello.
2. Explain what you are looking for, looking to be done etc.
3. Then shut up and let the person answer your questions.(men can not do this number 3 at all)
4. When you are done, say thank you and good bye. Social skills.

Sounds easy enough doesn't it?  I get one call a day when those things happen.
Yesterday it was a full day of idiots.One after another. 
I swore there was a sign somewhere to call me and to act stupid.
I had someone call that went like this.

Person on the phone who was a full grown up adult male: "Hey."
Me: " Hello can I help you."
Caller: "I don't know."
Me: What are you looking for sir?"
Caller: "2 things"
Long silence.
Me: "Would you like to share with me what those 2 things are so I may help you?" I chuckle.
Caller:" my bathroom and my kitchen." he is not laughing
Me: "Are you looking to have your tub and tile refinished in your bath?"
Caller: "No."
Me:  "Okay let's start with the bathroom. What are you looking to do?"
Caller: "I'm not sure"
MY HEAD EXPLODES.
Me:  "Do you just want your tub to be refinished?"
Caller: "I think so."
OMG.
Me:  Why did you call? What are the issues  that you think need repaired so I can help you sir?"
Caller: Well I don't know that is why I called you.
OMG!
Me: do you want the tub refinished? Do your tiles need refinished? or do you even WANT them refnished?
Caller: No.
Me: NO to all of that or just the tiles?
Caller:  the tiles.
OMG CAN YOU FUCKING PUT A SENTENCE TOGETHER YOU NUMBNUT?
Me: Okay is this a standard 5' tub or a claw foot? jacuzzi tub? soaking tub?
Caller - I think it's standard.
I go through what makes a standard and quote a price and go through all the shit of warranty, time frame etc.
Me: What did you need for your kitchen, new countertops? 
Caller: I don't know for sure, maybe my wife should call.
O.M.G ya think?
Me: That would be great, have her call me and I can walk her through everything and if we are doing count tops we can set up a time that a person can come out show samples and go over everything with her.That would be a free estimate.
Caller: Does that cost us something?
Me: The estimate is free.(argh!)
Caller: But you will charge me to refinish my bathtub right?
I'm thinking, is he stupid, is he trying to be funny?
Me:  Oh we will still charge you to refinish your bathtub.
Caller: okay 
And he just hung up. No thank you, no "see ya" just hung up.

Now when I tell these things to Rick upon hanging up he swears the insane or mentally challenge call me. Nope, just your typical DC Metro customer. Those that are highly paid and highly educated but are so socially inept it is scary. This actually happened when Rick was here, he was looking at me with his head cocked and I made the international sign to write down what I was saying so could blog it. That is how sick I am.  I thought you could enjoy some of my daily pain.

Is it wrong that I want to drink every day after work?
Is it wrong that after work I never want to answer my personal phone?


Friday, April 3, 2015

Hip Hip Hooray!

As I mentioned to you the other day my hip is giving me some grief.

I have had this pain for awhile now. I'd say about 6 months. Each month just a tad bit worse.
I haven't said anything to Rick because, jeez, every day there is another issue so why bother. We have better things to laugh and talk about than our old people aches and pains.
Besides Rick has enough of his own.

But now it has gone into my groin area, the pain that is. The pain is now always waking me up at night, not sometimes anymore, always.
Thursday night I got up and went downstairs for some ibuprofen. I turned on the TV and thought perhaps sitting in Rick's recliner would be more comfortable. Nope. Not at all. 
Sitting is bothersome altogether. 
I poured myself a big ole glass of ice water. Watched some TV that I had recorded and leaned against my kitchen island watching television until I just couldn't take it any longer and I then laid on the sofa. Laying doesn't feel good either but I was tired of standing and I was wide awake damn it. 

I broke down and called an orthopedic surgeon today because I just know this isn't going to be nothing.  If I have to have a replacement hip that is it. I might as well wear a sign that says, "I'm an old lady"  I can't even get a senior discount yet, this shouldn't be happening.

I had a OMG gorgeous orthopedic surgeon when I had my torn rotator cuff repaired.
Oh my goodness. Rick insisted I was hurting myself on purpose because he was hummina- hummina good looking. So you all know that is who I called, right? 
Nothing like being in pain and this gorgeous hunk a hunk a burning love walks in and makes you forget all about it.

But my luck was such that I was told he doesn't work on hips so I had to see someone else in their practice. I saw this doctors photo on the website. He is not a Dr. McDreamy like my rotator cuff man. He is an older man like myself in his 50's. I don't want that.  
I want my big tall,tan, blond, muscular doctor again who has the best smile and hiney. 
Yea, I looked. He walked away, what's a girl to do? 

I may have to hurt my other shoulder.

Thursday, April 2, 2015

Bad Signs

Eyes getting so bad you need stronger glasses - check

Can't hear a lick, need hearing aid - check

Hip pain getting progressively worse and now can't sleep - check

If I were a horse they'd shoot me.



Wednesday, April 1, 2015

Hyacinths

I have never planted hyacinths.
At first I thought, perhaps they arrived because the seeds blew over the fence. 
Did a neighbor have hyacinths?

I know for a fact the single man to my left does not. But I asked to be certain. He laughed and said he had never had them on his patio.  I asked the people to my right. Nope, they have never had hyacinths on their patio.

So how did they get there?
We planted tulips and only 2 are coming up in between hyacinths. 
We planted the tulip bulbs 5 years ago. 

Tuesday, March 31, 2015

Tuesday Random Items

Anyone out there watch 60 Minutes on Sunday?  I found the clinical trial story at Duke extremely interesting and hopeful. The inventor of this I hope can get rich in the same way Bill Gates or Steve Jobs gets rich for their inventions. People who devote their lives to curing diseases should get the same rewards as an inventor of technology if not more. Or a baseball player.
Curing cancer would be pretty remarkable to see in my lifetime.
__________
Rick got a great video of Izzy on her 2nd swim of the season. He took it on his phone and his phone is so different from mine. It is very easy to send to an email, text, blogger etc on my phone. On Rick's we can't figure it out at all. I so wanted to post it.  Oh well. She was snoring on Sunday on the sofa. Rick and I were talking about the upcoming day and I went to the sink to rinse my coffee cup and said the word 'swim', which i normally spell. But the dog is snoring I don't need to spell. WRONG.  She heard that word and jumped up and ran to the front door.
Rick looked at me and said, "Guess we're going swimming"  Izzy whimpers at the door and whimpers for him to throw the toy so she can swim.  It's crazy.  That water had to be really really cold.  Until it's 70 (the water not the air) I wouldn't go in there!.  
_________
We purchased a new dishwasher in December and it won't stop running.
The only way we could get it to stop is to turn off the breaker to the dishwasher. We called support and they walked us through some things  but it still wouldn't stop running. So they set up an appointment for us to have a technician come to our home. This was Sunday. Today, they were to be here between 8am and 10am. They called last night to let me know the time.  They showed up at 9:45am. Apparently it was due to either too much soap or we had a dish or plate or something block the water and it backed up or some such nonsense. Nothing he told me made any sense. He was adamant about the soap. I told him I used Finish pods. How can I use too much soap? He then went on a ramble about never ever using Cascade. I already knew that and told him, but that didn't stop him from going on and on and on about it. The tech  was afraid of Izzy. Since I am afraid/scared to death, of cats I asked if he wanted me to put her upstairs because I get a fear.. He said emphatically a loud OH NO.. But he was skittish. Izzy did nothing more than bring him a ball. No bark, never came to the door, only walked over to him when he got to the dishwasher to give him her favorite ball.  He jumped and said, "does he bite?"  
I wanted to say I imagine if she did she would have by now.  But I took his fear seriously and asked again if he wanted her upstairs. I told him, "She's just giving you her ball."  He said, "please move her." 

I sent Izzy to the stairs and she laid on the 2nd floor landing, she could see everything but far enough away for our technician. She stayed there the whole time until.he got close to me to sign the paperwork, Izzy came between us. I was going to tell him not to get close but he did it so quickly and boom, she was there.
I know she does that all the time when strange men are here and I'm alone. So I knew what she was doing but he didn't. I grabbed her and held her so he didn't get scared. He said, "At least HE doesn't bark." Apparently barking scares him more than the actual dog. I moved Izzy to the stairs again. She laid on the landing watching over her kingdom.  I signed it and stayed a safe distance away so she wouldn't  leave the landing.
He thanked me and said, "she really doesn't bark huh?" I said, "she barks but not often. If you lift your arm to me, harm me, knock on the door while she's sleeping, she'll bark."  never trained her to do this but I've seen it often.
He said, "Big dogs scare me a little bit, I have a small dog that barks a lot"  I told him that big dogs don't need to bark. He laughed. He thanked me and ran out of here.
I'm just glad to have my dishwasher back. I am so very spoiled. I have been doing dishes since Sunday. I told Rick we use too many dishes/glasses etc.  Rick did them last night and said, "Man I hate this."  He did them once.
________
Last night I dvr'd Kimmel because I wanted to see Van Halen. I have always thought that Sammy Hagar was the best lead singer for the bad. This morning we watched it with our morning coffee. OMG David Lee Roth looked dreadful, sounded worse and it sucked.
Van Halen is still great, Eddie never sounded or looked healthier or better. Wolfie Van Halen was also very good. The lead "singer" was horrific. He can no longer sing at all. He just said words. He also had a broken nose. He looked as bad as he sounded and it was sad. Because honestly Sammy Hagar should be up there rockin' 
________
It is 70 today. I think spring may actually be here. Although my hometown got more snow. A friend sent me pictures. I feel badly for them. They may not see the pavement until June/July. I was shocked to see how much they not only got overnight but how much was still on the ground.

Friday, March 27, 2015

Human Spark

I used to watch The Human Spark a great deal. I haven't seen if of late. Is it still on? Hmm....

Anyway, I saw this one on my facebook feed and I liked it and thought I'd share.
I found it interesting that Chimps are helpful too. 
Ya'll know my love of chimps, dolphins, gorillas and dogs. But these kids are darn cute too. :-)

Spring Break 2015

This week at Doggy Day Care it was Spring Break.
Oh, there are fun things like Mutt Madness, pools, outdoor activies and pictures etc. 
Since we can watch from our phones, tablets or computers I find these funny as hell when I check in.

As is the norm, Izzy goes to daycare on Wednesday. I get a full day of work and she runs herself ragged and is a sleepy puppy all night long. Glorious evening of only 1 walk. 

Yesterday upon picking her up I was given this photo.
It cracked me up.
Last year her spring break photo was her with a lei around her neck and a water background.

If you want to smile today, go view all the pictures of the dogs.
https://www.facebook.com/DogtopiaofDulles
Click the photo if not familiar with facebook and you'll see all the pics. Some of the little dogs are so damn cute and funny.



and finally TGIF - 

Thursday, March 26, 2015

Morning.

It has been quite a morning.

Yesterday was our tech's birthday. He really is a nice kid. He has a great work ethic, is trustworthy and he has gotten very good at his job. (The paperwork is another story) I still lovingly refer to him as numbnuts and I call he and Rick that to their faces. It's our joke. Numbnuts 1 and Numbnuts 2. Neither can multi-task and I tease them both.

The man loves bacon and chocolate so for his birthday I made him candied bacon and ooey gooey chocolate butter bars. He was in heaven yesterday morning. You would have thought he got a great gift. At 10 am I got a text saying, "Damn woman these are good" I asked, "which ones?"  He wrote back, "both!! Thanks so much!!" Side note: he is a body builder. He eats more food in a day than I do in a week. He is enormous. 6'5" and 318lbs. Not an ounce of fat to pinch either. 

After the birthday acknowledgement from us in the morning, we went over the days off he had coming up. He had asked for Monday and Tuesday of next week because he had family coming in. Then yesterday he asked for Friday because now his father was coming to town for just the weekend. He said it was weird because his father doesn't like to travel so when he got the voicemail last night he was so surprised but very excited.   This man lost his mom to cancer when he was a kid. His father raised he and his siblings so they are a very close-knit family. (His family lives in Michigan) I told him we could make it work and we'd get the old man (Rick) doing some of his jobs. No problem.  He was so appreciative and told us he would have no more time off until the holidays.  We laughed & told him "it's all okay."

This morning at 5:30 as I was lying in bed I heard Rick's cell phone go off downstairs. 
It was a text message sound. Rick was already out walking the dog and I was just trying to not get out of bed. Then the ding of his text went off again and I thought, It's 5 friggin' 30 in the morning I bet this is important. So I ran downstairs to get Ricks phone.

I see a text from Gary stating that he has been up all night and can we somehow reschedule his appointments? He knows this is a big deal and he was so very sorry. He also said My dad is very sick and I'm going to be a dad.
HUH?

I wrote back - May I call you?
Now my big 6'5 broad shoulder big ass dude is crying like a baby on the phone with me.
His sister called him last night to wish him a happy birthday and apparently she couldn't hold the news in any longer. His father has cancer and that is why he wanted to come here to visit. Then the woman he lives with, who he has worked out a plan to leave, tells him that she is pregnant. She's been lying about being on birth control. Nice. He apparently has not slept. It appears that his father is terminal. It also is apparent that the well laid plan he had to leave that he has shared with us is shot to hell. He and Rick discussed the plan and he was planning to stay there until June1st and now he feels trapped. Happy Birthday to you.

This is why men should have birth control and not only women.

I met this lovely woman. I felt a cold dark cloud as soon as she walked in. She never smiled. She was so cold and she had bitch face. I tried with her, but I knew what I had standing in front of me. I had never spoken to Gary about her so didn't know anything at this time. When she left our house (here to pick up his check before auto deposit) I told Rick, oh she is the devil. She is not a nice person.  Rick just said, oh no.  He knows when I get those "feelings" that  they are correct. 

Over the past year, Gary has shared with us some things and he calls her Broom Hilda. When his sister went back to Michigan he lost the apartment and had been laid off from his job, so he moved in with her telling her it was only temporary. She kept saying it doesn't have to be. He kept telling her his plan so there was no lying or anything hidden. He told her they could still date but in all honesty he didn't want to.  (not nice on his part either but we get why he was telling her that)  She doesn't support him, she only complains and bitches. She doesn't like his hobby of cars, she doesn't like anything about him. But apparently likes him enough to trap him with this kid.

Now, to me that doesn't mean squat. He shouldn't be with her if he is miserable. She thinks this will make him stay. I say, Be a good father, but run like the wind Gary! Life isn't easy when you are both madly in love, starting off hating her is not good for anyone. In fact toxic. 
But it's not my life so it will be seen how this plays out. 

Then I began the job of rescheduling. One job Rick could do today after his appointments. A very long day for him since he left the house at 6:15a to be to Alexandria in time.
The others moved to Saturday and poor Rick will now have to work the weekend. 
Everyone was so nice about this. Of course, I can't say why we need to reschedule other than a family emergency for that tech. As long as I got the work done they didn't care thankfully. One woman was actually thrilled it worked out better for her. I was so appreciative. I'm sure we will give them a break in price for working with us on this, but more often than not people aren't as nice as these ladies were today. I am so thankful.

All this before 7am.

Wednesday, March 25, 2015

Colorblind



This so moved me. I had a friend who was colorblind. I never could wrap my head around what he saw or how he saw it. This helped me to understand. I think it's a big deal to see colors but when you watch this you really appreciate the fact that you can see all the colors of the rainbow.

Monday, March 23, 2015

Drama Queen

I have 4 sisters. I am the oldest, unfortunately.

I have a sister who will be called Drama Queen (DQ) for the sake of this blog.
Out of 5, if I am number 1 being the oldest, she is the 4th.

She will make everything a big deal. 
She will talk about it and get herself in a frenzy. Oh she loves drama.
I know a few people like this, this isn't a new disease my sister has created. But I don't understand this behavior.  Why do people want to create it where it doesn't exist? 
It's a head scratcher for normal, non-narcissistic people of the world.
Could their life be so miserable that they must create something different?
I don't know, but I don't get it. I wish I understood the need.

I awoke last week to a text that was sent at 12:21 am.  It was a selfie of the Drama Queen in a hospital bed with tubes up and down her nose and throat.  The text read, Can’t get rid of me that easy! They say if I were to wait 1 more day I would have died. Damn, guess you’re stuck with me a little longer” :-)”

Who does that? If this were serious you don't throw out a text to your loved ones in this manner. 
She reminds me of the fable, The Boy Who Cried Wolf.  Ever hear that one?
I doubted this was serious, but I contacted her daughters to find out what was going on. 
I fear the one time it is serious I ignore it and then it will be real.  As her daughter wrote to me, "She's fine, just being dramatic. Had a blockage and she'll be home later today."

I text DQ yesterday to see if she was doing okay. She couldn't just say, "I'm well thanks. Good to be home."  Or anything along those lines. Nope, she has to say, "I'm home, but it was so difficult. They pulled the tubes out of my throat and it was soo painful."
I ignored her drama and just said, "Glad you are home"
And sadly home is at my parents house. A 45-year-old who lives with her mother AGAIN
I sometimes want to say shit back to her, but there is no point. I had to have an endoscope for celiac testing. Yes, it sucks to have shit down your throat. It is uncomfortable, but I didn't text you a photo and whine to you about the pain. I have had friends going through cancer treatment who aren't as dramatic as my sister!

I know this sounds like I am mean to her. Oh, but you would have had to live it for all these years. Sadly all of us who received this drama filled text did the same thing, including her daughters. 
She's been doing this for years and years so we are used to it to a point.

My sister Stephanie who lives out west, wrote me a funny email discussing DQ's text. 
She said she had begrudgingly called Mom to see if this was real or more drama than real death. She too felt that it was probably nothing, but she would feel guilty if it weren't nothing this time and she ignored it. (Just like the rest of us)  
She also shared that she was having a quick repair done to her umbilical hernia today. In and home but looking forward to her spring break to recoup. (She is a teacher)

This morning while sitting at my desk my cell phone rang its text notification sound.
I open it and it is a photo of my sister Stephanie prior to going into surgery. 
She sent a selfie of herself  lying in her hospital bed with the surgery cap on just said, "I didn't want to be outdone!"  
Oh, how that made me laugh. Nice? Probably not. We'll all go to hell in a hand basket for imitating the Drama Queen. 

Both are well as I write this. That is the bottom line.
DQ is home and is fine. Stephanie is out of surgery and sent me another pic to tell me so. 

I personally want no more drama in my life. I like a boring quiet life. 
I have a great life no need to add drama. Do you like drama? If so why?